Bringing Your Baby Home

For months, I pictured the moment Buddy would finally meet Joy.

Would he be excited? Confused? Nervous? Would he understand that she was staying?

I imagined that first introduction as if it were the big test, the moment that would tell us whether everything was going to be okay.

But bringing a baby home is not one moment. It is a whole series of changes arriving at once.

You have been away. The house smells different. Your body is different. Your attention is divided. There is a tiny new person making unfamiliar sounds, and the whole energy of the home has shifted.

And your dog has no idea why.

What helped us most was slowing the whole thing down. Buddy did not need a dramatic introduction.

We also brought one of Joy's blankets home before Buddy met her. It was a small thing, but it gave him the chance to investigate her scent in his own time, while he was staying with his carer.

We did not treat it like a test. It was simply there for him to sniff and get used to before he met her.

That mattered to us because Joy's scent was going to be completely new, but the blanket also carried the smell of the people he already knew and trusted.

RSPCA Australia recommends allowing a dog to become familiar with a newborn's scent before the first face-to-face introduction and rewarding calm behaviour around it.

A blanket is not a guarantee that the introduction will go smoothly. For us, it was simply one small way to make Joy feel a little less unfamiliar before Buddy came home.

I had spent so much time worrying about how Buddy would cope without me that I had not really thought about how much I would miss him.

After everything that happened with the delivery, I wanted him home. But I also knew that bringing him back the moment we walked into the apartment would not help any of us. So we gave ourselves the first night to settle with Joy.

Buddy stayed with the carer he already knew, playing with his friends and being looked after somewhere he felt comfortable. He came home the following day, once we had caught our breath and the apartment was calmer. That extra night gave us time to arrive properly.

The dog carer gave Buddy a good walk and run before bringing him home to us mid-morning. By then, we had already spent our first night with Joy and had a little time to settle into the apartment.

I had settled into the bedroom with Joy before Buddy arrived. When he came through the door, I went out to greet him on my own. I had missed him so much. There was no baby in my arms during that first reunion. Just Buddy and me.

Then we let him investigate. He wandered through the apartment, sniffing each room and taking in the new smells at his own pace. We did not immediately lead him towards Joy, and we did not hold the baby out for him to inspect. We let Buddy come home first.

Only once he had explored and visibly settled did we open the bedroom door. He came in on his lead, and we had treats ready so we could quietly reward his calm behaviour around Joy. Keeping him on lead gave us control over the distance. The treats helped us reinforce calm behaviour without forcing or luring him closer.

We wanted Buddy to feel included, but we also wanted our newborn to be safe. We did not want Joy’s arrival to immediately mean Buddy was pushed away or constantly told no. But we were also not going to leave the interaction to chance.

And then he met her. No grand performance. No perfect pose. No pressure for him to instantly fall in love. Just Buddy carefully taking in the newest member of his family.

That still feels completely insane to me. You need lessons and a licence to drive a car. Training to use machinery. Qualifications for jobs where another person’s wellbeing depends on you.

But then you give birth, someone places a tiny human in your arms and sends you home. No exam. No step-by-step instructions. Just a newborn, a body full of hormones, almost no sleep, a huge scar across my stomach and the sudden realisation that I was now responsible for keeping this tiny person alive.

People talk so much about pregnancy and birth that it can feel like delivery is the finish line. Then you come home and realise the hard part did not end. It simply changed shape.

There is breastfeeding, the pain, the bleeding, the hormonal crash, the sleepless nights and the constant mental checklist running through your head. Is she feeding enough? Is she gaining weight? Is she breathing properly? Am I doing this right?

I remember waking up screaming because I was convinced I had fallen asleep with Joy on my chest. She was safely in her cot. But in that half-awake moment, my whole body reacted as though something terrible had happened.

There were the night sweats. The exhaustion. The physical recovery. The adjustment to breastfeeding. The constant alertness. Sometimes I felt a huge wave of rage come out of nowhere. It was frightening because it did not feel like me.

And somewhere in all of that, you may also be looking at your dog and wondering whether you are doing enough for them. I felt that too.

We are strong women. In many ways, we are superheroes. But we do not have superpowers. We still need sleep. We still need food. We still need time to heal. We still need help.

Success was not Buddy immediately curling up beside Joy as though he had always known her. It was smaller than that.

He came home. He found me. He explored. He met her when he was ready. Then we built their relationship gradually, one calm moment at a time.

That first introduction mattered. But what mattered even more was everything we did afterwards. Respecting his signals. Protecting his space. Keeping him included. Giving him places where he could still be his big, bold, happy self. And never expecting him to manage more than he could handle.